1998 Bumper Stickers
* Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
* A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
* Horn broken, watch for finger.
* My kid had sex with your honor student.
* If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
* Help wanted telepath: you know where to apply
* I.R.S.: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.
* Jesus loves you… everyone else thinks you’re an asshole.
* I’m just driving this way to piss you off.
* Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.
* Keep honking, I’m reloading.
* Hang up and drive.
* Lord save me from your followers.
* Guns don’t kill people, postal workers do.
* Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
* I said “no” to drugs, but they just wouldn’t listen.
* Friends don’t let Friends drive Naked.
* If we aren’t supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
* Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
* Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
* Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie!’… till you
can find a rock.
* Sex on television can’t hurt you… unless you fall off.
Constipated People Don’t Give A Crap.
My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
If At First You Don’t Succeed…blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
You’re Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren’t Happening To Me
Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
The Face Is Familiar But I Can’t Quite Remember My Name
Illiterate? Write For Help
I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
It’s Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now
I Haven’t Lost My Mind, It’s Backed Up On Disk Somewhere
If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over
[Seen Upside Down, On A Jeep]
Ax Me About Ebonics
Caution – Driver Legally Blonde!
Don’t Be Sexist – Broads Hate That
Heart Attacks… God’s Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends
Honk If You’ve Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?