A WOMAN’S RANDOM THOUGHTS
Skinny people piss me off! Especially when the say things like,
“You know sometimes I forget to eat.” Now, I have forgotten my
address, my mother’s maiden name, and my keys. But I’ve never
forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to
forget to eat.
A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control
pills. She had 14 kids, but she doesn’t give a damn.
They ;keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies. Mine
isn’t all that communicative but I heard from it the other day
after I said, “Body, how’d you like to go th the six o’clock
class in vigorous toning?” Clear as a bell my body said, “listen
bitch. . . do it and die.”
The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about
nothing (and then they marry him.)
I( read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are
eating too much, smokingtoo much, impulse buying, and driving too
fast. Are they kidding? That is my idea of a perfect day.
I know what Victoria’s secret is. The secret is that nobody
older than 30 can fit into their stuff.
“If men can run the world, why can’t they stop wearing neckties?
How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around
Send this to five bright, cheery women you know and make their
Well, I don’t know about cheery, but you’ll certainly make their