THE WORLD’S BEST PICKUP LINES (AND MUCH, MUCH, MORE!)
1. I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hands.
2. Can I borrow a quarter? [“What for?”] I want to call my mom and
tell her I just met the girl of my dreams.
I want to call your mother and thank her.
3. Is your daddy a thief? [“No.”] Then how did he steal the sparkle
of the stars and put it in your eyes? [Be ready with a snappy answer in
case they say “yes.”]
4. You’re so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear.
5. Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table
and take what I want?
6. Let’s go to my place and do the things I’ll tell everyone we did anyway.
7. The word of the day is “legs.” Let’s go back to my place and
spread the word.
8. Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?
9. That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom
floor tomorrow morning.
10. My name’s [your name]. That’s so you know what to scream.
11. My name’s [your name], but you can call me “lover.”
12. Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?
13. Can I flirt with you?
14. Your daddy must have been a baker, ’cause you’ve got a nice set
15. [Look at his/her shirt label. When they say, “What are you doing?”
Checking to see if you were made in heaven.
Checking to see if you’re the right size.
16. All those curves, and me with no brakes.
17. If I told you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
18. Fuck me if I’m wrong, but don’t you want to kiss me?
19. I like every muscle in your body, especially mine.
20. [Grab his/her tush.] Pardon me, is this seat taken?
21. Is it hot in here or is it just you?
22. Can I have directions? [“To where?”] To your heart. [Cheese alert!]
23. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.
24. How about you sit on my lap and we’ll talk about the first thing
that pops up?
25. Do you know what’d look good on you? Me.
26. I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
27. So… How am I doin’?
28. How about you and I go back to my place and get out of these wet
29. [Tap your thigh] You just think this is my leg.
30. Say, that’s a nice [dress/outfit/article of clothing]. Can I
talk you out of it?
31. I lost my phone number. Can I have yours?
32. I hope you know CPR, ’cause you take my breath away.
33. Excuse me, is that semen in your hair?
34. My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it.
35. (regard their outfit) Gee, that’s becoming on you, if you wore
me, I’d be coming on you too.
YOU WILL EXPERIENCE GREAT SEX within four days of receiving this
letter, provided you send it on. Since the copy must tour the world, you must
make ten copies and send them to others. This is no joke. Send no
money. Send copies to people who need to GET LAID within 96 hours.