” THE TOP SEVEN FEARS OF SNUGGLES THE FABRIC SOFTENER BEAR”
7. He Might someday have to chew own leg off to escape from a lint trap.
6. Sleeping in laundry basket exposes him to attack by housecats.
5. He may end up in a washer with Al Sharpton’s undershirts.
4. Excess softener will leave him unable to perform as a male.
3. Winnie-the-pooh will get drunk at family gathering & start loudly
suggesting that he should be the Fabric Softener Bear.
2. Company doctors will perform some kind of surgery to insure he
remains “Snugly” forever.
1. The Pillsbury Doughboy will ask him to poke lower.