SIGNS THAT YOU ARE TOO DRUNK:
You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
Job interfering with your drinking.
Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
Career won’t progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts.
The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case – coincidence?? – I think not!
Two hands and just one mouth… – now THAT’S a drinking problem!
You can focus better with one eye closed.
The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
You fall off the floor…
Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you
At AA meetings you begin: “Hi, my name is… uh…”
Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell
asleep clothed. – hmm.
The whole bar says ‘Hi’ when you come in…
You think the Four Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, Alcohol,
and [Women or Men].
Every night you’re beginning to find your roommate’s cat more and more
Roseanne looks good.
Don’t recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass.
That damned pink elephant followed me home again.
Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past you.
I’m as jober as a sudge.
The shrubbery’s drunk from too frequent watering.
You wake up screaming “TORO TORO TORO!” in the middle of the night.
YOU WILL EXPERIENCE GREAT SEX within four days of receiving this letter,
provided you send it on. Since the copy must tour the world, you must
make ten copies and send them to others. This is no joke. Send no money.
Send copies to people who need to GET LAID within 96 hours.
You have to send this to at least 1 person or U will be hit by your crush!
If U send this to, 2 people nothing will happen
If U send this to, 3 people your crush will start talking to U
If U send this to, 4 people your crush will ask U to dance
If U send this to, 5 people your crush will bring U close when U dance
If U send this to, 10 people your crush will kiss U while UR dancing
If U send this to, 12 people your crush will kiss U
If U send this to, 15 people your crush will french kiss U
If U send this to, 30 people your crush and U will fall in love
Don’t be worried if U don’t send it to anyone U will just plain die-off,
plain and simple, HAVE A NICE DAY!!!