“Why did the chicken cross the road?”
For the greater good.
It was a historical inevitability.
Thomas de Torquemada:
Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I’ll find out.
Because that’s the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.
Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.
National Security was at stake.
The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual
chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore
synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it
necessary to cross the road.
The possibility of “crossing” was encoded into the objects “chicken” and
“road,” and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of
this potential occurrence.
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends
upon your frame of reference.
To actualize its potential.
If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
Because it could not stop for death.
Ralph Waldo Emerson:
It didn’t cross the road; it transcended it.
Johann Friedrich von Goethe:
The eternal hen-principle made it do it.
To die. In the rain.
We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving
Out of custom and habit.
You tell me.
Due to the loveliness of the hen on the other side, more fair than all of
Hellas’ fine armies.
Henry David Thoreau:
To live deliberately… and suck all the marrow out of life.
The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
Stephen Jay Gould:
It is possible that there is a sociobiological explanation for it, but we
have been deluged in recent years with sociobiological stories despite the fact
that we have little direct evidence about the genetics of behavior, and we do
not know how to obtain it for the specific behaviors that figure most
prominently in sociobiological speculation.
I don’t care. Catch it. Crack its eggs to make my omelette.
Captain James T. Kirk:
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the
daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom
among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue?
In such a manner is the princely chicken’s dominion maintained.
Because of an excess of pleghm in its pancreas.
Deregulation of the chicken’s side of the road was threatening its dominant
market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create
and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market.
Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the
chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation
processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM) Andersen helped the
chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences to
align the chicken’s people, processes and technology in support of its
overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened
a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with
Andersen consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to
engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal
knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize
with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and
successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework
across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held
in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was
strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and
unified market message and aligned with the chicken’s mission, vision, and core
values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration
solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
The chicken didn’t cross the road. It was planted there by the police as part
of a conspiracy to frame the species!
Why can’t the chicken just cross the road?
Did some one say Chicken McNuggets?
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken, “Thou shalt
cross the road.” and the chicken did cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.
The chicken did not cross the road, I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the
road. I don’t know any chickens. I have never known any chickens.
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn’t anyone ever think to ask
‘what was this chicken doing out of his pen walking around all over the place
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken did cross the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
I have just released the new Chicken Office 780. Which will not only cross
roads but will also lay eggs and file your important documents. And Explorer
is an inextricable part of the Chicken Coop 98 operating system.
The question is not “Why did the chicken cross the road” But it is rather,
“Who was crossing the road at the same time, and whom have we overlooked in
our haste to observe the chicken crossing”
Chickens, over great periods of time have been naturally selected in such a
way that they are now genetically predispositioned to cross roads.
In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us he
had and that was good enough for us.
Give us five minutes with the chicken and we’ll find out.
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I’ve not been told!
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads,
without having their motives called into question.
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion… We are quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
I don’t remember any chicken…
I did NOT cross the road with THAT chicken.
That do you mean by chicken?
Could you define chicken please?
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes.
How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?
I missed one?
JERRY FALWELL Because the chicken was gay! Isnt it obvious? Cant you people
see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the other
side. Thats what they call it: the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken
is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side. That
chicken should not be crossing the road. Its as plain and simple as that.
PAT BUCHANAN To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.
DR. SEUSS Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes!
The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, Ive not been told!
ARISTOTLE It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KEN STARR I intend to prove that the chicken crossed the road at the behest
of the president of the United States of America in an effort to distract law
enforcement officials and the American public from the criminal wrongdoing
our highest elected official has been trying to cover up. As a result, the
chicken is just another pawn in the presidents ongoing and elaborate scheme
to obstruct justice and undermine the rule of law. For that reason, my staff
intends to offer the chicken unconditional immunity provided he cooperates
fully with our investigation. Furthermore, the chicken will not be permitted
to reach the other side of the road until our investigation and any
Congressional follow-up investigations have been completed. (We also are
investigating whether Sid Blumenthal has leaked information to the Rev. Jerry
Falwell, alleging the chicken to be homosexual in an effort to discredit any
useful testimony the bird may have to offer, or at least to ruffle his
LOUIS FARRAKHAN The road, you will see, represents the black man.
The chicken crossed the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
THE BIBLE And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the
chicken,Thou shalt cross the road. And the chicken crossed the road, and
there was much rejoicing.