You Know You’re an Engineer If…

You know you’re an engineer if:

1. The only jokes you receive are through e-mail.
2. All your sentences begin with “What if”.
3. At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the
one to find the burned-out bulb in the string.
4. Dilbert is your hero.
5. People groan at the party when you pick out the music.
6. The blinking 12:00 on someone’s VCR draws you in like a
tractor beam to fix it.
6a. You know what a tractor beam is.
7. The salespeople at Circuit City can’t answer any of your
questions.
8. When you go into a computer store, you eavesdrop on a
salesperson talking with customers and you butt in to correct
and spend the next twenty minutes answering the customers’
questions, while the salesperson stands by silently, nodding
his head.
9. You are still drinking Mr. Pibb.
10. You can name at least six Star Trek episodes.
11. You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
12. You can type 70 words a minute but can’t read your own
handwriting.
13. You do Darth Vader or Battlestar Galactica impressions by
talking into a spinning fan.
14. You ever forgot to get a haircut … for 6 months.
15. You find yourself at the airport on your vacation studying
the baggage handling equipment.
16. You have “Dilbert” comics displayed anywhere in your
work area.
17. You have ever debated who was a better captain: Kirk or
Picard.
18. You have ever owned a calculator with no equals key and
know what RPN stands for.
19. You have ever saved the power cord from a broken
appliance.
20. You have memorized the Discovery Channel
programming schedule, but have seen most of the shows
already.
21. You know how to take the cover off your computer, and
what size screwdriver to use.
22. You know the direction the water swirls when you flush.
23. You know what http:// stands for.
24. You look forward to Christmas only to put together the
kid’s toys.
25. You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts.
26. You remember half a dozen passwords and your ten-digit
Compuservere address, but you have to call your niece
“kiddo”.
27. You think your computer looks better without the cover.
28. You thought the contraption ET used to phone home was
stupid.
29 You walk around with your hands in your two front
pockets 99% of the time.
30. You wear black socks with white tennis shoes (or vice
versa).
31. You window shop at Radio Shack.
32. You’ve already calculated how much you make per
second.
33. You’ve ever tried to repair a $5 radio.
34. Your checkbook always balances.
35. Your father sat 2 inches in front of your family’s first color
television set with a magnifying lens to see how they made the
colors.
36. … and you grew up thinking that was normal.
37. Your idea of a “Good read” is the Edmund Scientific
catalog.