You just might be a Redneck Transvestite, if…
1. You go to family reunions to meet guys.
2. You chew tobacco. (Chewing is OK, but don’t spit, nice
3. You wear a dress that’s strapless and a bra that ain’t.
4. You wear combat boots with a minidress.
5. You wear jeans with a belt buckle that’s bigger than your
6. You have a Ford F150 pick-up truck, with a gun rack, a
Dale Earnhardt license plate frame, and a Confederate flag on
the tailgate, next to the bumper sticker that says “I sell Avon
7. You try to wax your legs with Turtle Wax.
8. You braid the hair that sticks through your fishnet
9. Wear a black John Deere baseball cap with pearls.
10. You use glitter to highlight your moustache.
11. You wear tube tops with your mini, because it shows off
your Harley-Davidson tattoo.
12. Your favorite band ring came off a cigar.
13. You keep spare ammo in your bra.
14. You get a run in your stockings while changing a tire on
15. Your purse is a toolbox.
16. You pluck your eyebrows with a pair of needle nosed
17. You store your lipsticks in a socket-wrench box.
18. You use duct tape to keep your “tuck” in place.
19. You call your vanity “your work bench.”
20. You use a pocketknife to sharpen your lip and eye liners.
21. “Doing your nails” means sorting the ten-pennies from the
22. Your favorite leather skirt was made from the moose you
shot last Fall.
23. Your new sandals are made from truck tire re-treads your
found on the road.
24. You keep a spare lipstick in your toolbox.
25. You wear a pair of C-clamps as screw-on earrings.
26. Your best silver necklace is made from beer can pull-tabs.
27. Your nail enamel is made by Rustoleum.
28. You use paint thinner to remove your makeup.
29. Your moisturizer says “non-detergent SAE 10W30” on the
30. If you remove your leg hair with duct tape.